I saw the most humbling thing.

You know, it’s funny how life works. That every little thing we do, and people around us and even people who we don’t know, that every little piece affects and guides our life to the moment we are currently in. And when we meet someone new, it's the result of all the little decisions and bits of life, which made us be in one place, allowing us to meet. Which made our paths to cross. And take a look at each other.

Even the ‘failures’ play a huge role for bringing us to where we are today. After graduation, I applied for BA in advertising. And I got denied. I was devastated. That made me choose another major. A major, which lead me eventually to the realization that I want to study Turkish. When applying for Erasmus in Istanbul, I got only accepted to my second choice which was Uni in Izmir. So I went to Izmir instead. And magic continued to happen. If these ‘failures’ would not have happened to me, I would have never met the other part of my heart.
Life is truly magic.

Everything and everyone is connected. There is no such thing that only me or only you. Life is fluid. And every little thing we ever do, affects the life, a friend, a stranger, someone,  something, somewhere.

And Emrahs decision to volunteer in Indonesia 3 years ago, brought me there with him now, 3 years later. But if he had never got accepted to study in Holland, and would not got inspired to become an entrepreneur in Izmir later on. He would have never went to teach entrepreneurship in Indonesia. And maybe he would have never met me. And I would have never met him. And we would have never gone back to Indonesia, 3 years later. And got engaged in the most magical bamboo house. But we did. And it was all magic.

We were born to this world. And we were given a life. But nothing was promised.

Mother or father by our side was never promised.

Friends were not promised.

Having a home was not promised.

Getting a job neither.

Love and acceptance by the others was never promised to us. 

The things we take for granted, like the golden dark coffee in a Sunday morning - was never promised to us. Nor long walks on the beach because legs weren't promised as well like anything else.

So let it go.  Nothing ever belonged to us. Just let it be.  It's alright.

Life is a gift. Everything is.

“I found myself many times saying “When I go back to my real life then…. “

Being away and experiencing so much in a short period of time makes you grow so much faster. Sometimes it doesn’t feel like “real” or “ordinary” life any more. It feels like other kind of reality.

Every day is new and interesting. Other culture, different music, interesting food, different people, other habits, customs and you are inside all this cultural thunder.

You need to learn how to settle very fast in every situation, find solutions to all the problems what may appear. You take care of yourself, you need to take responsibility. You have to act quickly if needed, adapt fast and understand how to get from A to B to C to D to back A again without getting robbed, lost, hit by a car, not missing your plane or train, managing your money, keeping your health and getting enough sleep and food, also communicating with people all the time. Actually I enjoy this madness. Stepping out of your comfort zone is the first step to change, right?

But there always comes a time when you need to return back home.

Finally when you come back, only then you’ll see how much you actually changed. You didn’t understand that before, but now you do.

And then…. reverse cultural shock begins.

Have you heard about reverse cultural shock before? Yes, it exists and even can last longer and take more time to settle with your so called ordinary life again.

Some things what used to be normal to you, don’t seem so okay any more.

Maybe your sense of clothing has changed, perhaps your world views are different. Maybe you don’t want to talk about how drunk somebody was on a party. You are surprised how those small meaningless things can be such a big issue to some people. You are gone trough so many things, learned a lot and changed a lot, and in one point it may seem like there is no one who can understand and relate with you.

Normal things don’t seem normal any more. This makes so much confusion.

Questions like following start to appear — Who am I? Why am I here? Where do I belong? What I want to do in my life? What is this life about? What is my purpose here? What can I do to help people?

Bigger issues feel closer to you as ever before. You met people who are from countries with conflicts happening right now. You have talked with them, heard their stories. Now world has start to seem like a totally different place and you can’t ignore any more the things what are happening in the world. You have a personal contact with world issues now.

When I come back from being away, of course I’m glad to see all my friends again. Sleeping in my own bed has never felt better. I see my family who I missed so much and pet my dog again.

But still, it feels like that people I met in my travels, to them I gave a little piece of my heart to hold.

I left pieces of me to the places I went.

Now all there’s left is this hope to go back to the most favorite places and most favorite people to meet again the pieces which I gave them to hold.