Simply Human

The London Diary

The truth many people seem to miss is that happiness doesn't start with a relationship, a job or a college degree. It starts with your thoughts and what you tell yourself every day.

I had this fear of how others pursue me, which kept me back and eventually made my completely miserable. I didn’t like myself. When I first started to travel alone, I learned what I now see as the most important lesson of my life. As I grew, I found the best in myself again.

Truth be told, genuine happiness cannot be given to us by something external. Genuine happiness comes from resolving our inner conflicts and personal struggles. It comes from a place where we are satisfied with who we are, where we’re going, and what we’re doing to get there. For me, traveling taught me on being content with myself first - the truth of my happiness.

I knew I wanted to explore new and that travel will make me happy, so I went. First time by myself. But what I discovered was something much more meaningful, I felt strong. I felt this rush of confidence I never did before. I felt bold. I felt free to express myself as I am, be silly, run through the rain at the city streets laughing and dance with no music on. The one who jumps in the river with clothes in Germany, bold enough to speak her mind, to let go the fears of disliking, to feel like the world is on the palm of my hand. I was not acting. I truly felt free. But my liberation was quick to fade, when the adventures ended and I was back home. I saw myself pulling back again. Back to my shell.

Thinking back to my travels, I told my friend once: ‘I wish I could be here as I was while traveling’. I longed for the liberation what it gave me, but who I couldn’t see myself be in ordinary life. So I booked new tickets and went again, till I learned something. The rush of happiness didn't come from the beautiful places I went to, nor the amazing food I tasted. Not from the source outside. It came from a place where I was exactly myself- free. Where I didn't care to worry about how others might perceive me. I built my confidence from there, thrived to sustain my hype. And as you discover the true source of happiness is the liberty to be the truest self, you end up feeling invincible.

It takes work to sustain this feeling. But it starts with your thoughts.

It’s what you choose to tell yourself every day.

Love,
Mariliis

Feeling Invincible

I'll take you along with me to a day tour inside-out from my perspective to a colorful wedding, where the air is filled with the smell of smoke and flowers and musicians are performing with flutes and drums.

Wedding traditions are a big part of most cultures. Indian weddings are known for their unique characteristics - the colors, rituals and traditions.

People close to me know, that I always want to attend a wedding. The idea of dressing up for the occasion and being a bit more glam than usual to go and celebrate love makes me always excited. I haven't been to many weddings in my life. Therefore, when I discovered that during my travels in India I'm lucky to be invited to an Indian wedding I couldn't be happier.

First things first - the wedding outfit

I was in the city called Chennai in South-East India and were on my way to a dress shop. As I was going to the wedding which lasted for 2 days it was an amazing opportunity for me to shop for some beautiful, colorful dresses.

As we reached the store, I quickly realized I'm not in the size of an average Indian woman. When the blouses were too wide for my waist, the skirts were still not long enough for my height. Oh well, I'm only able to wear the biggest number of clothing.
Eventually, we managed to find two sets of clothing for the upcoming special days and left the store with a two bags full of colorful and sparkly clothing and happiness on my face - when else would be the time I get to wear princess-like dresses in the colors of bright pink and blue with golden ornaments?

PREPARATIONS FOR THE WEDDING: Girls Mehendi night

It's a tradition in India for the girls to have a henna, also known as mehendi party before the wedding. The Mehndi event is a colorful and fun celebration held the night before the wedding, which is traditionally celebrated by the women on the bride’s side of the family. This means a lot of fun as the girls gather around and let the professional henna artists draw fine lines which come together as rich flowery decorations on our hands and feet.

After the henna design was applied to all over both sides of our hands, we couldn't touch anything till the henna dries and processes for many hours. It was entertaining to see the male family members opening the car doors for us and helping to get our shoes on, as we didn't want to ruin our henna designs by touching anything. What would be the best excuse to ask them to take pictures of us as well.

THE WEDDING CEREMONY

I read somewhere that Hindu wedding ceremony can be explained as if it were a romantic story. The bride and the groom come to the Mandap, separately, as if unknown to each other. Then they fall in love and ask the parents' permission to get married. During the various rituals, the couple commits to remain faithful to each other. Then, the family and guests bless them and wish them a very happy life and they leave the Mandap as a newly married couple.

The wedding ceremony is colorful. Air is filled with the smell of smoke and flowers and musicians are performing with flutes and drums. The actual wedding ceremony consisted of countless rituals. Rituals with fire, with flowers and fruits, with rice and singing, with prayers.

The ceremony lasted for two days, sometimes these ceremonies can last even longer. This means not only the guests need at least 2 sets of clothing for each day, also the happy couple is changing their clothes during the day many times. If I'm not mistaken then the bride had 7 different sarees for these two days to wear.

This is what I learned - Indian weddings not only unite bride and groom but also their families. Family plays a key role in making life decisions and in many cases, the parents are picking the partner for their child for the marriage. India is a collectivist culture to the core.

The wedding took place in a temple of Lord Krishna. Hindus have many Gods and all of them have separate temples. From the entrance of the temple I got myself a framed picture of Lord Krishna sitting on the lap of his mother. They sell these little pictures and books to support their community and temple. I found this picture fascinating as the lady figure truly represents an Indian woman to me - her dark, long hair is tied back and flowers are decorating the braid. She is wearing a saree what you can see most women wearing in the city picture. And she is wearing gold, which is very common for the women to wear as everyday jewelry. Overall I really love this picture and I took it home with me.

Food - Everything surprising

Between the rituals people go inside to eat. There were long tables across the room with square pieces of banana tree leaves placed in front of the seats. Waiters walk in front of the long table with various pots, pouring different foods to your 100% natural square plate and offer the guests coffee and tea.
All the rich flavorful food they offer is completely veterinarian, as both sides of the brides and grooms families do eat only vegetarian food. It comes from their cast - they are Brahmins which as well is the “highest” of the four castes in India.

Food is eaten with hands. Okay, this is a funny one - I've struggled to eat quite many times in my life in the places where food is normally eaten with hands and one of them is India. I see people around me more skilled using their hands and all I do is try to not pour it all over myself. What comes to the hygiene, I always saw people washing their hands before and after eating. The sinks are a crucial part in any food place. No problemo there.

As the city of Chennai is extremely hot, I didn't feel really like eating. I cared much more to stand under the A/C to feel some cool air blowing to my skin. But, as I heard, the food was great.

Clothing

Clothing is brightly colored with golden decorations and ornaments. Women do mostly wear sarees - which is a nicely wrapped really long piece of cloth. The dressing goes along with plenty of golden jewelry and a bindi (a red dot worn on the center of the forehead). For footwear mostly open sandals are worn.
Men wear either classical formal shirts or Indian kurta.

It's when they tell you to wear traditional clothing and you're feeling the vibe

Thank you Chennai

There's something about the city. The high degrees and humidity of the weather in a mid-summer Chennai is something to look out for. Not only once did I feel like fainting. But it's people love their city in South-Eastern India so much, returning there even if they don't live there anymore.

Overall the event was something I've never witnessed before and I truly am grateful for being invited. It's something I'll always remember.

With all the love,

So how does one Hindu wedding in India look like?

I love that I can sit outside in a cafe on an sunny day at the end of February and wear a light cardigan while sun heats up the corner where I'm sitting and brings freckles to my nose.

Dynamic is the one word I'd describe the city I live in now - Istanbul. It's the end of February. Technically not even a spring time, but the feel of spring is all over the city. It's a bit chilly yet, but seeing the sun after the long and grey winter invites me to immediately step outside and go to my favorite area near the sea. It's not actually a sea, it's a waterway which connects the Black sea with the Sea of Marmara. It draws a line between two continents, separating the city into two - Asian and European side.

Two continents, one city. It's the place I call home.

This is not the calm getaway destination with long beaches there's nothing to do at. This city is in a busy bee nest, always in a hurry. And there are loads of reasons I love this city as it is.

Here are 5 a bit different reasons I love Istanbul for

It's place you share a bench with your fellow citizen, the place with loads of cars and yellow taxis.

It's a place you're never alone, and honestly you don't feel alone too. People are nice, sometimes too nice. Sometimes an older lady in a clothing store, or a young man waiting in a metro station starts a conversation with me. Sometimes they are curios, sometimes they just want to talk. It's something interesting and different (and weird).

Everything is Everywhere

One day I was making mashed potatoes at home. As I found out that there's no milk in the fridge, I went downstairs to a little market and came back along with a pack of milk few minutes later. The time I got back the potatoes still steam from the heat.
This is something I haven't been used to before, but I'm enjoying it to the fullest right now. Weather you need a copy-center, hairdresser or grab a fast bite, everything you need is near by. There's lots of people here and they all need different kinds of products and services daily, therefore everything is available close by.

What many people don't know about Istanbul. It's something I love about this place is, that although mostly the weather is sunny and warm and it rains rarely, there's still one thing many people don't know about Istanbul. It snows in winters in Istanbul. And when it does, it's magical.

Food - Meat is not the only option.

Turkish food culture is rich, that's for sure. As probably everyone knows the famous kebab, Turkey is not only all about meat. Me as an non-meat eater am far more interested in dishes not consisted of meat. There's a wide variety of traditional foods made of fresh ingredients not consisting any meat, which makes me super happy!

I love these little local food places with cheap prices and delicious dishes. One of my casual go-to places is a little food place 5 minutes from my home where I order one of my favorites - lental soup.

The cats of Istanbul

It's something worth mentioning. People love cats.
If I say love them, I mean that maybe even more than people. Istanbulers are animal-friendly people, who leave cat food and water into little containers all over the streets, even inside their shops for our furry friends to enjoy. Also all over the town it's visible little houses for street dogs and cats to sleep in. Sometimes these "houses" are made of cardboard boxes, covered with plastic to protect them from rain, sometimes they are made of wood and more permanent materials. This always makes me wander that there truly are people around, who actually build these shelters in their homes with the aim to give a street cat or dog a place safe from wind and rain to comfortably sleep in. That's just simply amazing.

So, if a cat walks into a shop or an open cafe, they are mostly not thrown out, but warmly welcomed inside, to lay down in a sunny spot of their choosing.

Two continents, one city - the city of Istanbul

Starting my second year in Uni I had this obsessive idea that on upcoming summer I will go on a long journey and travel across half of the world and take on the biggest adventure I've had.

However as we know, these dreams require a descent amount of money.

I hope my story helps you to get inspired and motivated to take a step forward to start your own dream travel.

When I ask "Why won't you take on your dream travel" I mostly hear one thing. People imminently answer to me "I would go, but right now there's no money for it"

Right, I also did not have money "right now". However, the important thing is to realize that even if we don't have that money right now, it doesn't mean we could not have it in near future. So why not start acting on it right now.
We might not have the money right now, but it doesn't mean we could not have it in near future.

Before I start I want to make something clear. People think that my parents paid for all of my travels and here I want to step in and say - no they didn't. I'm proud to say that my travels I earned myself. With my own strategy of savings and choice of minimal costs for lifestyle. Of course I got financial support in some extent before, however from the day I turned 20 I've been making the financing happen for my travels myself. For a year I gave up my every day coffee from a school cafe in order to get something bigger and better.

So how to make your dream travel true?

Obviously there are many ways, however this is what I did.
I went to my bank to open an extra account for my travel savings, an account apart from my every day transactions. This is what I called my "travel saving account". I even took some cash with me when I went to the bank so as soon as i opened it, I put some money on it. Therefore I knew the start has been made and I really am doing this. Seeing numbers on my brand new account boosted my motivation to raise the numbers even more.
The most important thing is to strictly keep it only for travel savings and not allowing yourself to take money from there for any other purpose. Till today, years later I have kept adding little saving to my travel account. For now it has become an essential thing in my life.

I'd say at the time I was quite busy with life. Other than having courses 4-5 times per week, I also was volunteering for a student organisation. I was lucky to find a job where there was no fixed working hours. I worked when extra staff was needed. This allowed me to work after school few hours in evenings and mostly on weekends. I didn't make much money, but all what I made, I directly added 100% from it to my travel account. Doing this I received my salary around 150 euros per month.
After few months I booked my first and most essential ticket on direction Tallinn - Mumbai - Tallinn.

I was working at my part-time job for 9 months till the summer, when I was ready start my adventure.

"Hard work pays off" I believe this to be entirely true. It all comes from the way of thinking. If you really want something, you'll do what it takes. And the key for successful saving is sticking to the plan. Having extra bank account strictly only for travel savings and not allowing yourself to take money from there for any other purpose.

This is how I brought my dream travel to life.
I'd be happy to hear, how did you?

Why we never have enough money to travel- and how to change that

Laughing over stories I heard, tasting the flavors of unknown dish

It’s not the person you where before. It’s the person you’ll become. The modified personality what develops through struggles, obstacles and barriers you constantly need to overcome. Giving up is not an option, to survive you need to keep going forward. Continue the journey you started — mentally and physically.

It’s about adrenaline rushing through you, gravity pulling you down while climbing up the hill, sweating in a hot bus with no clear understanding, where to get out. Feeling the sun after a rainy day.

You need to be strong, even if you don’t want to. To be brave, even if you are scared. You start to feel different.

Let me tell you an episode from my life, something what happened with me during my backpacking trip in India.

Few days I stayed in a busy city full of tall houses, where business people go to work every early morning in Mondays. But this night, it was Friday. Working hours where over, office buildings where empty.
We celebrated my friends birthday with a gathering, located on a rooftop of an apartment building. Humidity of the warm air sticking to the skin.

The sky was dark, but music reaching from far and cars driving the streets didn’t let this city sleep. The air was filled with noise and it was quiet at the same time.

I was sitting on the rough surface of the roof, laughing over stories and telling some of my own. I was amazed of the people, how they took me in so quickly. I was touched in my heart by the atmosphere. We where laughing, we where dancing in the darkness of the night. The time stopped. I felt I was alive.

In some point during your travel, something clicks in you. Some new type of understanding comes to you. Suddenly you see the world with new eyes. You’ll meet the best version of yourself. The person, doing things you didn’t think you’re capable of doing, strong enough to move the mountains. The free minded adventurer, ready to take over the world.

The one whose legs can walk for long miles without stopping. The one whose mind is free from worries. Who’s careless and happy.

Laughing over stories I heard, tasting the flavors of unknown dish,

I found in myself the one who truly can move the mountains.

The Personality of a Traveler

To be honest, Oman is a hot and humid country and belongs at the top of my most favorite counties.

It was first time for me to travel to another destination for 2 days alone. To spend the night sleeping in the airport lay back chair, when I was on my way to Oman. It was all worth it. At the end of my journey I met country - Oman, where naturally beautiful places and old traditions meet with modern luxury.

Here is why I love Oman so much.

1. Turtle Beach in Ras al-Hadd رأس الحد

Witness with your own eyes sea turtles laying eggs!

From July to October thousands of sea turtles from Arabian Gulf, the Red Sea and Somalia come to lay eggs in this beachin Sur, Oman.

These turtles are seriously huge! In the darkness of the night you can go to this beach with the local guides, who'll show you the turtles laying eggs while telling interesting stories about them. Walking in this windy beach in the dark, only hearing the waves, while tracking the turtles in the shine of the flashlights was definitely one of the most memorable experience I had in Oman!

2. Wadi Shab وادي شاب

All the people close to me has most probably heard me talking about the place. It’s a oasis with stunning nature! You are surrounded with high cliffs and palm trees while swimming in bright green-blue water. If you plan a nice day trip with friends, this is definitely the destination!

Be prepared for hiking! If you want to get to the best place of this oasis, you need to climb a lot. Comfortable and water friendly shoes are the best, but as I tested your well-trusted sandals will do well too!

You will find a big, beautiful cave, where natural waterfall with gorgeous sunlight entering to the cave, while you swim in this amazing colored water.

Take a lot of drinking water and a hat for the sun and you are ready to go.

If you own a water-proof camera, this is the place to take it along!

Video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qB2_xEMEOOc

3. Jabal Akhdar (The Green Mountain) جبل اخضر

This is the place for enjoying the magnificent landscape of Oman. This beautiful mountain is the best place for experiencing some cooler weather and relaxing space away from the busyness of the city.

Take some local food and sweets with you and have a picnic together with friends and family. The view is spectacular!

4. The Sink Hole مـتـنزه هـويـة نـجـم

The legend tells that a meteor fell to that spot and left a rounded hole to the ground which is now filled with warm, light-blue salty water. Inside the water there are swimming little fish and if you stay still, they will “kiss” your legs. It gives you the most weirdest but very enjoyable feeling.
Good place to swim, so prepare your towel and swimwear!
We went there in early morning and enjoyed our privacy while swimming, during the daytime it can get more crowded. Going earlier is better.

5.Masirah Island جزيرة مصيرة

It’s an beautiful small island of the East coast of Oman. There's a ferry taking you to the island so you can enjoy some time sailing the sea. The island is very windy so it's the place for kite surfing.
Don’t forget to try their fresh and delicious seafood!

6. Sultan Qaboos Grand Mosque جامع السلطان قابوس الأكبر

Absolutely stunning place! Marble, gold, beautiful Arabic calligraphy, grand central Swarovski crystal chandelier and world’s second largest hand-made Persian carpet. This mosque has prayer rooms for men and women and it’s open for non-Muslims too in specific times between 8-11 am.
For ladies long-sleeved top and maxiskirt is a good idea. For covering your hair, take a scarf. For men, shorts are not appropriate.
Entering the mosque you need to take off your shoes, so sandals would be a good idea , as they are easy to take off.

7.Muttrah Souq سوق مطرح

Jewelry, perfumes, spices, local clothes, shoes, scarves, you name it, most probably it’s there!

It’s the old market place where you can buy huge variety of all kinds of things, also set ready your bargaining skills and buy like the locals do. Great place for getting some gifts for your loved ones.

8. The Wave الموجة

It is a modern and beautiful area with a great beach, marina, restaurants and cafes.
If you are interested to see some expensive apartments and fancy cars driving around, this is the place to go! ;)
It’s the place to go with friends to drink cool fresh juices and smoke shisha.

9. Musanah مصنعة

It’s a small village in the middle of desert. This place has a special meaning for me because there I was teaching English as a volunteer for the summer, in a school surrounded only sand until horizon and camels walking around freely. This was the place where I discovered my deeply true passion for life.
However, for some luxury, beautiful Millennium Resort is located there too, why not to check it out.

Top 9 places in Oman you can't miss

“I found myself many times saying “When I go back to my real life then…. “

Being away and experiencing so much in a short period of time makes you grow so much faster. Sometimes it doesn’t feel like “real” or “ordinary” life any more. It feels like other kind of reality.

Every day is new and interesting. Other culture, different music, interesting food, different people, other habits, customs and you are inside all this cultural thunder.

You need to learn how to settle very fast in every situation, find solutions to all the problems what may appear. You take care of yourself, you need to take responsibility. You have to act quickly if needed, adapt fast and understand how to get from A to B to C to D to back A again without getting robbed, lost, hit by a car, not missing your plane or train, managing your money, keeping your health and getting enough sleep and food, also communicating with people all the time. Actually I enjoy this madness. Stepping out of your comfort zone is the first step to change, right?

But there always comes a time when you need to return back home.

Finally when you come back, only then you’ll see how much you actually changed. You didn’t understand that before, but now you do.

And then…. reverse cultural shock begins.

Have you heard about reverse cultural shock before? Yes, it exists and even can last longer and take more time to settle with your so called ordinary life again.

Some things what used to be normal to you, don’t seem so okay any more.

Maybe your sense of clothing has changed, perhaps your world views are different. Maybe you don’t want to talk about how drunk somebody was on a party. You are surprised how those small meaningless things can be such a big issue to some people. You are gone trough so many things, learned a lot and changed a lot, and in one point it may seem like there is no one who can understand and relate with you.

Normal things don’t seem normal any more. This makes so much confusion.

Questions like following start to appear — Who am I? Why am I here? Where do I belong? What I want to do in my life? What is this life about? What is my purpose here? What can I do to help people?

Bigger issues feel closer to you as ever before. You met people who are from countries with conflicts happening right now. You have talked with them, heard their stories. Now world has start to seem like a totally different place and you can’t ignore any more the things what are happening in the world. You have a personal contact with world issues now.

When I come back from being away, of course I’m glad to see all my friends again. Sleeping in my own bed has never felt better. I see my family who I missed so much and pet my dog again.

But still, it feels like that people I met in my travels, to them I gave a little piece of my heart to hold.

I left pieces of me to the places I went.

Now all there’s left is this hope to go back to the most favorite places and most favorite people to meet again the pieces which I gave them to hold.

Ambience

Creativity

People

The London Diary